Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Hurt Locker: Occult Emergency Kits

So my best friend likes to randomly send me links to imgur (it's his latest obsession) and sometimes I retweet them or put them on my Facebook account. Most of them are damn funny and he knows me well enough to know what I find amusing. Last night though, he sent me this link to "supernatural emergency kits." Not only could I not stop laughing (it's AWESOME!), I had the urge to actually write these suckers up for GURPS. Which ended up sparking a entire new blog series (which I've retrofitted a few posts into this category as they are more thematically appropriate to "The Hurt Locker" than anywhere else. So without further ado...some "break in emergency of..." kits. So what do you do when your girlfriend's head starts spinning and she throws up pea soup all over you? Well, assuming she's wearing a blue dress you might just be dealing with the Satan Himself. What about if your find your teacher is a werewolf? Or your sister has been taken by a vampire? Maybe your high school has just been invaded by zombies thanks to a sick student. Whatever the reason, your Emergency Occult Kit has you covered! So Break glass in case of...

Emergency Exorcism Kit (TL8)
18.7 lbs.
10-yard Coil of 0.5” Rope (p. HT56) [Backpack]. Support 350 lbs. HT 12, DR 1, HP 2. Roll ST or Escape-1 to get out of restraints. Success inflicts your thrust-1 damage on the rope and your thrust-3 on yourself! $10, 2.2 lbs.
Esoteric Mini-Tool Kit (p. LMH7) [Backpack]. Acts as basic equipment for Exorcism ore Religious Ritual. $200, 4 lbs.
Hip Flask (p. HT31) [Belt]. Holds 1 pint of Holy Water (included). Holdout -1. $10, 1 lb.
Large Crucifix [Backpack]. Made of wood. Against demons, undead, etc., can be used as a holy attack; treat as a sap, using Boxing-1, Brawling, or Karate-1 to hit. $200, 1 lbs.
• Papal Blessing of Marque [Backpack]. This scroll is written by the Pope of the Catholic Church which endows the bearer with the authority to perform exorcisms - even if the character is not a ordained priest! This removes the -4 penalty for lacking holy advantages for Exorcism and gives a +2 bonus on such rolls. To gain these bonuses the bearer must have read it at least once (it takes 1 hour to read and the reader must have comprehension of Latin). $1,000, 1 lb.
Rituale Romanum (p. LMH7). Allows use of Exorcism at Will-6. $200, 6 lbs.
Priestly Vestments (p. HT00) [Torso]. $360, 1 lbs.
Small Backpack (p. HT54) [Torso]. $60, 3 lbs.
Small Crucifix (p. HT31) [Neck]. $1, neg.

Emergency Werewolf Killing Kit (TL8)
13.56 lbs.
• Small Backpack (p. HT54) [Torso]. $60, 3 lbs.
Talbot Moon Charm [Neck]. Grows chilly in the presence of a werewolf. $1,000, neg.
Pouch of Wolfsbane (p. H49) [Neck]. contains six bulbs on a small string. $15, neg.
Werewolf Survival Guide (p. LMH7) [Backpack]. Allows use of Hidden Lore (Werewolf) at IQ-5. $200, 6 lbs.
• Wheel-Lock  Pistol (p. B278) [Holster]. Acc 1, Range 75/400, RoF 1, Shots 1(20), ST 10, Bulk -3, Rcl 2, Malf. 14. Includes small bayonet which uses Knife and does thr-1 impaling damage. $220, 3.5 lbs
12x Rounds Silver Hand-Matched .60 caliber ball and shot (pp. B278) [Pouch]. Acc +1. Dmg 1d+1 pi+ follow-up silver effects. $142, 1.12 lbs.

Emergency Vampire Slaying Kit (TL8)
16 lbs.
Hammer (p. HT25) [Belt]. $15, 3 lbs.
• Hip Flask (p. HT31) [Belt]. Holds 1 pint of Holy Water (included). Holdout -1. $10, 1 lb.
• Large Crucifix [Backpack]. Made of metal. Against demons, undead, etc., can be used as a holy attack; treat as a sap, using Boxing-1, Brawling, or Karate-1 to hit. Can also be used to stab, treat as a Large Knife. $400, 2 lbs.
• Small Backpack (p. HT54) [Torso]. $60, 3 lbs.
• Small Crucifix (p. HT31) [Neck]. $1, neg.
• String of Garlic Bulbs (p. H49) [Neck]. contains six bulbs on a small string. $3, neg.
• Vampire Survival Guide (p. LMH7) [Backpack]. Allows use of Hidden Lore (Vampires) at IQ-5. $200, 6 lbs.
2x Holy Wooden Stakes (p. B272) [Backpack]. $8, 1 lb.

Emergency Zombie Kit (TL8)
19.3 lbs.
• Small Backpack (p. HT54) [Torso]. $60, 3 lbs.
• Zombie Outbreak Guide (p. LMH7) [Backpack]. Gives a +1 bonus to those who know the skill! Allows use of appropriate "zombie knowledge" skill for setting at IQ-5 for Average skills, IQ-6 for Hard, or IQ-7 for Very Hard. $200, 6 lbs.
Zombie Survival AMC MK II (p. HT192) [Belt]. Fuse 4-5 seconds. Bulk -2. LC 1. Damage 4d+1 [2d] cr ex. Add +1 damage vs. zombies! $40, 1.3 lbs.
• Zombie Survival Fine Large Knife (p. B272) [Backpack]. Dmg sw-1 cut or thr+1 imp. Add +1 damage vs. zombies! $80, 1 lb.
 Zombie Survival Ithaca Model 37 Stakeout Shotgun (p. HT105) [Backpack]. Acc 2, Range 40/800, RoF 2x9, Shots 4+1(2i), ST 12, Bulk -3, Rcl 1/6. $450, 5.4 lbs.
 20x Rounds Zombie Survival Hand-Matched 12G 2.75” Buckshot (p. HT176) [Shotgun or Backpack]. Acc +1. Dmg 1d+1 pi. Add +1 damage vs. zombies! $154, 2.6 lbs.


  1. That's great! I am glad you liked the link I sent you. When you get the chance, could you do the Winchesters' trunk. I know that it is chock full of sweet gear. -C

    1. I'd need a good photo to crib the info from or even a set cheat-sheet if it could be found. And thanks. You inspired it after all. :-)

  2. I'm curious, why the match lock pistol? just because of the difficulty with making silver rounds?

    1. Actually, blackpowder ammo is VERY easy to make - even silver bullets and the like. I know this from firsthand experience (the bullet making not the werewolf hunting).

    2. Yeah, keep that disclaimer. You never know who's reading.

    3. Damn it, Roger - stop sifting my cover to the straights. T_T

    4. Right, but the reason not to use a higher damage firearm is just because of how easy it is to make silver bullets with black powder?

    5. That's the jist, yes. Of course, in some campaigns where speciality ammunition is easy to get you'd probably replace it with a fully automatic SMG or some type. But ball ammo remains useful even then if you have something like an Aztec Lich that is immune to everything except obsidian. So you either get in close with a mahatuel or you carve a piece of obsidian into a musket ball.

    6. That lich sounds fun. I'll have to try that some time.